Ossie's Lightbulb

In the summer of 1994 Ossie Ardiles sat glumly after Spurs disappointing 15th place finish in the Premier League, and wondered what he could do to improve his beloved “Tott-ing-ham”.

I know! I’ll buy Klinsmann and Dumitrescu.

But you’ve already got Sheringham, Anderton and Barmby, Ossie? Surely you’ll have too many forwards?

Don’t worry we’ll play a 2-3-5 formation. That will accommodate everyone.

And so wise Ossie was proved right. Well, in the first game in any case, as Sheffield Wednesday banged in three goals at Hillsborough but Spurs were rampant up the other end, with Dumitrescu the only player of the front five not to get on the scoresheet. However, things soon started to go very wrong, as the team didn’t keep a single clean sheet in the first 13 matches before Ossie got the bullet. Consecutive losses against Southampton, Leicester and Forest meant the writing was on the wall and Ossie was dismissed after a defeat at Blackburn. The forward laden team promptly conceded four goals at home to Villa in Gerry Francis’ first game, so it was clear it would take a while to get back any kind of defensive mentality.

Poker sees the rare occurrence of a team mentality next week, as six of us are playing in the Sporting Index Invitational team event at Loose Cannon on Wednesday. Originally I wasn’t going to play, as I was put off by the ropey structure (£100 rebuys for 2k chips a pop), but I put myself down in the end. Whilst I will be on a random team due to my late enty, The Racist has formed his own Tottenham 1994 team. Himself, The Baron, Nemo, Chan and The Nit. This looks to me completely unbalanced, although perhaps with it being a rebuy it doesn’t matter. Presumably Nit will be left in the role of lone defender while the other four go bezerk in the rebuy period. I think they should hire Ossie as a coach for one night to give advice from the sidelines. I do hope my random team contains some tournament plodders, although seeing as they will be Sporting Index customers it seems doubtful.

In other news, on Wednesday night I played at the Baron’s 6 max home cash game and lost £700 :( The other runners were Baron, Fluke, Nemo, Nit and Andreas, and I believe I was the biggest loser. I played pretty badly, mostly due to fatigue following the 5am Tuesday finish, and made some poor decisions. I did get very unlucky in a £900ish pot at the end of the night, but overall deserved my loss.

I should also add that we were playing “speed” poker, whereby you have ten seconds to act plus a timebank of 60 seconds similar to online games.

Here are the two key hands for my night:

Hand1
Nemo raises to £15 pre-flop after a couple of limps. Nemo has only folded about five times all night pre-flop (!) so this could mean anything. I come along with Q♥7♣, playing about a £250 stack.

Flop arrives 8c6hJc

Nemo powers away for £45. I decide to float with nothing.

Turn is a 4c. Ah-ha. Now I have two terrible draws. A 7 high club draw with a flush already out. Also a gutterball draw to the 5 for a low straight.

Nemo shoves to put me all in. I don’t have the odds and have bad draws to boot. I can visualise my bed however, and a peaceful end to the evening after the minimal sleep of the previous day seems appealing. I call.

The river is 2d so a total blank. I sigh, about to throw my hand away but what’s this? Nemo is ruefully shacking his head. He displays his 9T for a busted up and down ten high. My Queen high takes the big pot. Nemo declares that I am a donk of the highest order, and he is of course correct :)

Hand2
Down to three handed now, myself, Baron and Fluke. Baron raises on the button/UTG and Fluke calls. I call with Q8.

Flop is Q84 rainbow and it all kicks off.

Fluke bets £25, I raise to £75 with my two pair. Baron folds. Fluke dips into his time bank and then finds a raise to £175. The board is really dry so I don’t think he has a set as he wouldn’t play it so fast. Either a slow paired overpair, or a big Queen. When I shove for £200ish more and he sighs, I realise it must be AA or KK. He’s pretty much priced in now anyway so calls with the KK. Turn is a Jack, but the river cruelly pairs the 4 to counterfeit me and I lose the £900 pot :(

Damn - some nights hinge on one key pot and this was it. Would have been nice to have got out with a win despite being below par.

I tilt off a final £200 to the Baron with flopped top pair + flush draw against a flopped two pair and decide to call it a night.

Next poker will the Sporting Index game, when I can amuse myself watching Ossie’s 5 in action :)